Heart-wrenching is a good adjective to describe how difficult it is to watch a loved one struggle with symptoms of mental illness. It’s impossible to know the best way to support the individual, as every person and situation are different. Whether your loved one has a specific diagnosis, or is simply going through a difficult time, it’s hard to understand the best way to show support. With this guide, we hope to offer tips for helping a loved one with their mental health.

WARNING SIGNS

Chances are, if you’re concerned about someone’s mental health, it’s because they’re behaving in a way that’s different or worrisome. The following are common signs you may recognize as someone needing help:

• Sleep, appetite, or mood changes.
• Withdrawal, such as a lack of interest in social or previously enjoyed activities.
• Slowly ceasing to function; no longer fulfilling duties at work or school or at home. This may come across as apathy, or a loss of initiative.
• Decreased cognitive functioning such as poor concentration, or memory.
• Increased sensitivity to sights, sounds, smells or touch.
• Nervousness or unusual habits and behaviour.

Keep in mind that one or two of these symptoms alone is usually not much to worry about. We all go through phases where we’re less interested in our jobs, or too tired to visit friends. We may eat more or less, especially when stressed. However, when several symptoms are noticeable at once, or for an extended period of time, that’s when you might want to start showing support.

APPROACHING THE ISSUE

Often, the most difficult and the most important step is the first one; starting the conversation. You don’t need to be a psychological expert or have all the answers they need. You just have to express your concern, and show you want to be there for them.

Use “I” statements, rather than “you”. For example, say “I’m worried about you”, or “I’d like you to consider talking to a counselor”. This will be easier for your loved one to accept than “you should talk to a counsellor”.

Show patience and let them know you care by listening, not judging. Disregarding or challenging their feelings is likely to backfire.

EDUCATING YOURSELF

The more you understand about mental health issues, including symptoms and possible treatments, the more you’re able to know what to expect. This sets you up to better support your loved one.

When familiarized, you can help anticipate potential barriers that might prevent them from seeking help. Childcare, finances/insurance, and transportation can all be seen as barriers. You can also help them locate resources such as a mental health professional.

SUPPORT YOURSELF

This is often the most overlooked piece of advice that caregivers, friends and family members receive. Fact is, you can’t help someone until you’ve helped yourself. It’s true when the flight attendant tells you to put on your oxygen mask before anyone else, and it’s true here.

Watching someone you love in pain, physical or emotional, is hard and can start to affect your own mental health. Sometimes you need to take your own advice and speak to a professional. Be sure to keep up exercise, social activities and to maintain a proper diet. There’s also support groups available for people who are in your shoes, who are trying to support someone else.